The Deep V

Can I do this…or will I look like some sort of VMA J-Lo reject?

About once a week, I roughly spend around two hours of my life in an American Apparel dressing room finding the courage to swipe my debit card and purchase a deep low V-neck. It haunts me.

It’s like the time when I bought my first skinny pant. Now, this was a big deal for me. Being 6’4” I looked like a dude in stilts at the Big Apple Circus. The first time I wore them out {Note: “Out” means to a location where “the gays” mingle}, I couldn’t walk up the stairs at Element and knocked over three queens cause I kept tripping over my shoelaces. Bending over to tie my shoes just wasn't going to happen.


RANDOM QUEEN
Hey, your shoe’s untied.


KYLE T
And, so it is... Jealous?


Kyle T flips his hair.


RANDOM QUEEN
Why are you drinking your beer out of a straw?


KYLE
Why are you drinking your beer out of a straw?


RANDOM QUEEN
I’m going to leave now.


KYLE T
Don’t forget to send me a friend request.

And scene.

The deep V is also a helpful tool in picking up guys. The new "farmers tan" now burns on your chest. That way, on the beach, you can tell who's gay cause they have a pink triangle across their chest. Thank you American Apparel.