I'm Getting Carried Away

There’s nothing original about me. I like to jump on bandwagons. I joined Barackobama.com. I moved to a loft in Williamsburg cause people told me it was cool. So, yes. I'm like everyone else as I count the days until the Sex & the City Movie comes out.

First of all, you know everyone ‘gotta be the “Carrie Bradshaw.” Scene: You’re with your three best girlfriends casually drinking flirtinis in the meatpacking district, and then the casting begins. The slut immediately says, “I’m the Samantha.” “Well no, shit. You just banged some stranger you referred to as “The Columbian” in the bathroom—of course you’re the Samantha.” Now, you’re down to three. The girls shoot evil glances at one another—“I’m the Carrie.” “No, I’m the Carrie!” Of course, being the gay man at the table, I got two choices: Stanford or the wedding planner, Mario Cantone. Note: I once saw Mario Cantone at Pier One Imports and was so disappointed by how normal he was acting. I prefer my Mario Cantone standing on wicker and shouting Kirstie Alley impressions at strangers.

Although I’ve tested more Charlotte, I think everyone that moves to New York has a bit of Carrie Bradshaw in them. People that move to New York—especially those that move here alone—come to New York to find something bigger than themselves. Whether you skip a meal and buy Vogue cause it feeds you more or put yourself out on a limb for love, New York can be the “Oz” to self-discovery. I moved to New York to write, to dance, to drink, to become apart of a business that inspires me.

Michael Patrick King is a big hero of mine, and by the trailer alone, I can pretty much guarantee: Michael Patrick King is going to let us have it!

This film’s got everything! Charlotte gets her adopted baby. I’d adopt an Asian baby just to strut down the 8th Avenue Runway with it strapped in one of those “things” across my chest. Oh, and I should be carrying a Whole Foods bag. Cute.

Fergie does the opening credits song. I love Fergie cause she spells. Fergie Story: I work in casting and one of my good friends works at a talent agency. We went to a private party and Fergie performed. When she came out and sang, “If you ain’t got no money take your broke ass home,” we went to coat check.

SJP does plenty of “Big” puns. “And I let the wedding get bigger than Big.” Of course you did, honey.

What? Possibly Steve cheated on Miranda. That’s cool—no one can stand his voice. Charlotte could be pregnant? Is it a dream sequence---is it not? Carrie in a wedding gown at St. Patricks. Samantha in floppy hats! No bizness! It is on. May 30th. All together now…Let’s get carried away.